Let me start this entry by acknowledging that this is my second blog post of the weekend.  Ever since I created this blog two months ago, I’ve tried to post on here at least once a week, although I am not willing to actually commit to that frequency.  Recently, I went a whole two weeks without posting, so I thought I would make up for it here by offering a 2 for 1 weekend – two blog entries for the price of one!  Yes, that statement is technically correct, since reading this blog is free, and since 2 x 0 = 0.

Now that I have that out of the way, I would like to take this opportunity to talk about something that has been on my mind for a long time that I would like for us to eradicate – the indecisijig.  For those of you who are not familiar with the term, an indecisijig is the inadvertent dance two people sometimes perform when approaching each other.  This occurs when both people try to sidestep the other to avoid a collision, yet end up moving in the same direction at the same time.  Both of them might even react to this by simultaneously moving the other direction as well.  This can lead to an awkward moment as they briefly try to figure out how to walk past each other.  Personally, I find these annoying, and I thought I would use my platform here to try to put a stop to them.

I first learned the term “indecisijig” as a fifth grader when our class learned about sniglets a fun part of our reading program.  Sniglets, a book from the 1980s by Rich Hall, creates all sorts of “words” that don’t appear in the dictionary, but should.  To this day, I still remember “pupsqueak” (the noise a dog might make when it yawns and opens its mouth too wide), “flintstep” (the act of running in place before you actually take off running, as frequently seen on the Flintstones or other cartoons), “opup” (to push one’s glasses back on the nose), and of course, “indecisijig.”  There are plenty of other sniglets as well, but those are the ones I remember.  If you are interested in learning more sniglets, feel free to do some research on them after reading this.

Although amused by the term, I have often found the actual act of the indecisijig to be annoying, awkward, and easily solvable.  An indecisijig might be made even more awkward by one person asking, “Shall we dance?”  It takes a bit of willpower for me to not reply, “No thanks.  If I wanted to dance, I would have asked you to a social event this weekend which features that sort of activity.”  But as that would probably come across as rude, I refrain.  Instead, I just smile, nod, and carry on with my main goal of walking to wherever I was wanting to go in the first place.

Perhaps you are reading this and you don’t mind indecisijigs so much, or maybe you hadn’t really thought about them until now.  But if you’re like me and would like to see them go away, you may be wondering, how can we help eliminate the number of indecisjigs that take place in our world today?  Or even if you hadn’t thought about them before, but now that you are reading this, you are annoyed by them too and would like to join me in my fight to eradicate them, welcome aboard!

I think there is a simple solution to this phenomenon.  The general rule of thumb that I learned from childhood is that we walk down the right side of a hallway, much the same as we drive on the right side of the road.  The way I see it, if people are walking down a hallway or a sidewalk correctly, assuming there is enough room to do so, they should be walking on the right side.  So, if they are walking in a path that would result in a collision if a change in direction does not occur, it’s likely that one of them is walking on the left (wrong) side, or that both people are walking down the middle.  Really, if everyone does their part and walks down the right side, most of these issues will be resolved.

I should mention that this principle assumes our Western culture where we drive on the right and walk on the right.  For example, in England, where they drive on the left…well, I don’t know what side of the hallway people walk on.  But if walking on the left side of the hallway in the norm in another culture, then this advice may need to be adjusted accordingly there.  Having said that, in our American culture, everyone simply walking on the right side of a hallway or sidewalk should help to eliminate indecijigs.  So, let’s spread the word – everyone walk on the right side!

But what happens when you are walking on the right side, and someone else is coming toward you while incorrectly walking on the left side?  Keep it simple – move to your right.  But then what if they move to their left at the same time and you sense an indecisijig starting to happen?  I would encourage us to keep moving right and force them to adjust.  Walk directly to your right at a 90-degree angle if you have to.  Plaster yourself against the wall if you have to.  Personally, I would rather this happen than the little awkward dance.  If you’re decisive, it can’t be an indecisijig.  (Just make sure you don’t run into anyone while doing this.)

Some time ago, at my workplace, I was walking down a narrow hallway as a lady was walking toward me.  An indecisijig occurred for what was probably only one second, but I decided to go ahead and try this.  I moved directly to my right, plastered myself up against the wall, spread my arms as if to hug the wall, and told her, “Go ahead.”  Problem solved, and I believe the humor in doing so was appreciated.

Once we have everyone on the same page, this should solve much of our problem.  However, the door could still be open for judgement calls in certain situations, like what to do at an intersection when people are walking toward the same spot at a 90-degree angle, or what to do when someone else is walking on the far left side, but not directly toward you.  Occasionally, there may be times when taking the path of least resistance when walking through crowds coming the other way might fall more in line with common sense, even if it means walking to someone’s left.  It might not be best to veer out of our way just to make the point of walking around a person on the right side when the simplest solution is to walk straight ahead.  We probably won’t be able to create a hard and fast rule for every possible walking situation here, and as such, there will still be room for error in certain situations.  But let’s start here with this rule of thumb – everyone spread the word to walk on the right side, and when in doubt, move to your right.

In case you’re wondering, yes, I am making a bigger deal about this than my actual level of annoyance. But I thought it was worth bringing to people’s attention, to both entertain and inform.

This reminds me, I need to supplement this lesson sometime with an instructional video on walking.  After I get a YouTube channel and record the music videos to “Where’s the Toilet Paper Gone?” and “Westside” (see the links to my song parody posts for context), I need to record an instructional video called “Walking 101”.  It will contain video examples on how to properly walk down a hallway, navigate through crowds, and avoid indecisijigs.  But that will have to wait for another time.

Please don't be a hallway pig
And cause an indecisijig.
Spread the word both day and night.
Everyone move to the right.