Watching March Madness this year brings back memories of my own college basketball career.  No, I never played on the basketball team at my college…or at my high school…or even at my middle school.  Still, although I never played school-sponsored organized basketball, I am reminded of my own days as the captain of the 1999 college intramural basketball team known as the McNuggets – the basketball version of the Bad News Bears.

Background

First, a little bit about my basketball background.  Although growing up as a big basketball fan in Indiana, I wasn’t exactly known for my athletic skills.  My first experience with organized basketball came at the age of 9, playing in the community youth league with other kids my age.  After playing the season on a winless team, and after accumulating a personal total of zero points and one blocked shot (that is, I took one shot all year and it was blocked with authority), I realized that I probably didn’t have a future playing for the Pacers.  No matter, I still enjoyed the game.  I often practiced shooting in my driveway growing up, but probably didn’t devote as much time to it as, say, Kobe Bryant.  Also, Kobe probably didn’t throw up as many airballs in his driveway that loudly crashed off the garage door.

During high school, I played for my church youth group in a local church youth league.  My senior year, I was the starting center, probably because even at six feet tall, I was the tallest guy on the team.  Although we didn’t have much height, our team finished as unofficial co-champions, as we tied for the best record in the league that year (thanks almost entirely to our other four starters).  I was mainly in the game to get a few rebounds.  It was the perfect setup – they score, I rebound, we win.

When I was in college, I joined my dorm floor’s intramural basketball team.  However, my initial experience with intramural basketball was not how I envisioned, since I barely played.  My philosophy of intramurals is that everyone should get to play.  If you’re on a school team, that’s different, and perhaps not everyone plays, but with intramurals, everyone should get to play. Specifically, everyone should play more than a 30-second stint of one trip up and down the floor before being subbed out for the rest of the game, just so the team captain can technically say that everyone played.  I remember thinking, I could be back in my room studying for a test tomorrow; why did I even come if I’m just watching 99% of the time?  I eventually decided that if I played intramural basketball again, I would just form my own team – a team where everyone would play at least a few minutes, regardless of skill level.  And that’s exactly what I did…with memorable results.

The McNuggets

The next year, when the time came for intramural basketball sign-ups, instead of joining the “official” team from my dorm floor, I started asking my friends with little to no basketball experience if they wanted to join up with me on a team.  The typical answer would be, “No thanks, you don’t want me; I suck.”  My response to that would be, “That doesn’t matter!  In fact, that’s perfect!”  I asked one football player from my floor if he wanted to be on my basketball team.  His answer was, “Do I get to hit anybody?”  I think he expected me to say no, so that he would then say no to my offer.  So, I replied, “Well…you’re not supposed to, but you get five fouls per game.”  He said, “Okay, I’m in!”

When it was time to sign up our team, I had managed to field a team of eight players.  We were a bunch of non-athletes and one football player.  We all knew we wouldn’t be very good, but at least I would make sure we would all play a significant amount, which for me, was the main point.  First, we had to come up with a team name.  I suggested the Nuggets, after the Denver Nuggets, the NBA’s worst team at the time.  But then someone else suggested the McNuggets, because surely all our opponents would fear a team named after a McDonald’s menu item?  We thought it was funny and went with it.  We were signed up as a team, and soon, the one and only season of McNuggets basketball was underway.

The First Game

I will never forget that first game.  The other team got the tip-off, came down and scored to make it 2-0 right away.  We got the ball stolen from us before crossing half-court, and a fast-break layup made it 4-0.  We immediately got the ball stolen again, and soon it was 6-0.  I thought, uh-oh, what have I gotten us into?  We might be in over our heads.  Is the other team that good, or are we that bad?

Bringing the ball up the court continued to be an adventure, probably because ball-handling was not anyone’s strength, and I was playing point guard by default.  It took us at least three or four possessions before we ever crossed half court.  Passes would be thrown to the other team or out of bounds.  Passes would be thrown to a teammate, only for the teammate to not be ready for the pass and have it stolen.  Sometimes we’d actually get to shoot the ball – and miss.

Only a few minutes into the game, it was something like 14-0, and our football player picked up his third foul by tackling an opponent going in for a layup.  The referee called a flagrant foul and told our player, “This isn’t football!”  He responded, “Well, it should be!”  Soon afterward, he got open for a layup and missed, got his own rebound, missed again, got his own rebound, and missed again before the other team finally got the ball back.  Not too long after that, he checked out of the game, telling me he had sprained his ankle, and never played for us again.

The score at halftime was 30-0.  At that point, our goal shifted from “Let’s win this game” to “Let’s not get shut out.”  During the second half, we continued to put on a spectacular display of turnover after turnover and missed shot after missed shot.  Although we had seven remaining players and were subbing frequently, running up and down the court became very tiring and we all ran out of gas pretty quickly. I think at one point, we started playing a 1-2 zone defense, with two players staying back on our end of the court, because it was just easier that way. At some point, a crowd started to gather around the court, as other games from the other courts in the gym finished up, and people started taking notice.  “Come over here – there’s an actual shutout going on!”  The other team started refusing easy layups in order to run an unnecessary passing drill for a few seconds before finally scoring. Soon, the score was 57-0 and people were watching.  We had to score…for the sake of at least some dignity.  Finally, one of my teammates hit a shot with about two minutes left to make it 57-2.  Everyone cheered – the people who had come to watch cheered; the other team cheered; even the referee cheered.

The final score was 63-2.  I thought forming my own team with everyone getting lots of playing time would be fun, and although this game was memorable, it was not fun.  It was embarrassing, although at least we weren’t completely embarrassed with a shutout.  Although, that was just our first game, and there were nine more games on our schedule.  Did we really want to go through that nine more times?  I don’t like to give up, so my answer was yes, in the hope that things would improve.  Surely, they couldn’t get any worse, right?

Huddle

On the day of our second game of the season, I learned that we would only have five players available that night.  Although we could have technically played with five players, nobody had the stamina to run up and down the court for an entire game with no subs.  We were exhausted enough playing with eight players.  So, on the day of the game, I went recruiting again and got three more players who were not on our official roster to play for us that night.  (This was an accepted practice, and one that I would have to employ during the rest of our season to continue to field a team.)

In the absence of any practice time (since we were all busy college students who didn’t have any time for that), and in a last-ditch effort to improve our team, I invented my very own basketball play and shared it with the team just before the game.  I always think of this when watching coaches draw up late-game plays during timeouts.  In the interest of incorporating this idea into our NCAA college basketball games, I will share it here.  I call this play “Huddle.”

Due to our apparent inability to pass the ball without committing a turnover, I decided to draw up an entire possession where we use handoffs as an alternative to passing.  When the point guard gets the ball past half court, he calls out “Huddle!”  All four teammates then race over to huddle around him.  The point guard then simply hands the ball to the teammate in front of him.  Players then move to surround the new ball-handler and shield defenders away as he then hands the ball to the next teammate closer to the basket.  The huddle then gradually moves toward the basket with no dribbling and no passing – just handoffs.  Eventually, the huddle should be close enough to the basket where a player can attempt a layup.  We decided to try this in the game.

The Second Game

The second game started much like the first game.  The other team scored a bunch of points before we scored any.  Sometime early in the game, I brought the ball up the court and called Huddle.  We ran the play, although one of my teammates was confused for some reason because he asked me, “What are you doing?” and I shouted, “I’m handing it to you!  Take it!”  Finally, after several handoffs, we advanced the ball to the free throw line before one of our players shot and missed.  We never ran Huddle again.  I’d still like to see someone else run this play though.

The halftime score was 32-2.  One of our new players had scored a basket to prevent any suspense of a shutout.  This time, things got better in the second half, as we actually managed to score a few more points.  (Granted, this opponent probably took it easier on us in the second half.) Late in the game, having already scored four points myself, and behind by about 50 points anyway, I decided to fire up a 30-footer just for the heck of it.  Swish!  (We didn’t have three-point lines on the side courts where we played, so it only counted for two, but still.)  I thought, hmmm, that’s interesting, maybe I should shoot those more often.  Our next possession, I got the ball at the same spot on the court and fired up another long one.  Swish!  Two shots from downtown!  I had also just set my career high in organized basketball with eight points.  The game ended right after that, and we only lost 62-14.  Still embarrassing, but at least it wasn’t as bad as the first game.

Rest of the Season

After our first two games, the remaining games all sort of run together for me.  For the rest of the season, I would find out on the day of the game how many players we had available, recruit more so that we would have enough to play, show up for the game, and hope for the best.  Perhaps my biggest accomplishment was finding enough players to play every game, and we never once had to forfeit. And…we managed to win three games!!!

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking, “How?  How does a team that bad manage to win three games?  Did you start hitting those 30-footers more often and lead your team to victory?”  (No, not even close, although I did chip in a few layups as our team’s 2^nd or 3^rd leading scorer that year.)  “Did you come up with some inspiring pre-game speeches?”  (No, although I should write about my propensity for corny pre-game speeches sometime.)  “Did you hold the ball for the whole game, take the last shot, and win 2-0?” (No, although I tried that once after getting the opening tip and the other team started playing zone. It didn’t work – they finally came out to guard me, and it went downhill from there.) “Did you get a dog who could play basketball?” (I wish, but no, this was not a movie, this was real life.) “Did you get a player who was actually really good?”  (Yes, once, but we still lost that game.  He scored over 20 points for us, but we still lost, I think that one was 72-34.  He never played for us again.)

So, how did we win three games?  Maybe we just improved that much.  Maybe our first two opponents were just that good, and we finally got to play against some other bad teams.  Or…maybe three of our opponents failed to show up and had to forfeit.

Yes, it was the last one.  We went 0-7 in games in which the other team actually showed up, but won three games in which the other team had to forfeit.  Our team, on the other hand, never had to forfeit a game.  Plus, everyone on our team got to play significant minutes.  And, although we lost all the games we actually played, at least the rest of our games were not quite as bad as 63-2.  So, success?

Final Thoughts

Why do I share this? First, sometimes I enjoy recounting entertaining autobiographical stories from the past. And the college basketball tournament gave me a convenient excuse to tell this one. But also, I think there are some lessons to be learned here:

1. Stick-to-itiveness is key.  If you are involved in a competition and keep getting your butt kicked, don’t give up.  First, there’s the principle of seeing it through.  But also, if you keep showing up, there’s always a chance the other team won’t, and you’ll win by forfeit.  As a current example, Oregon won a game in this year’s NCAA tournament by default simply by showing up, so you never know.
2. Never give up.  If you’re playing basketball and losing 30-0 at halftime, even if you know you’re not going to win, keep at it.  You may have to adjust your goals along the way, but keep trying your best.
3. Try to have fun.  Granted, that might be harder to do when you’re losing badly, but at least you’re playing, right?
4. If you’re putting together your own team, try to get at least a couple good players.  Teams with good players generally tend to do better.
5. Even though it didn’t work for my team and we only ran it once, “Huddle” is a great basketball play that needs to be tried again.  If you’re a basketball coach, try it sometime.  It might confuse the heck out of the defense.

“The great thing about sports is that it is all about character.  And you can learn lessons about life even if you don’t win.  But we did, because we were ahead.”  –Michael Scott